Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives by Schlessinger Laura

Author:Schlessinger, Laura [Schlessinger, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Non-Fiction, Self Help
ISBN: 9780060929442
Publisher: Quill
Published: 1998-08-26T23:00:00+00:00

STUPID MATRIMONY

Marriage is like the midnight phone call. First there is the ring.

Then you wake up.

GREG, 1996

“Marrying the Wrong Woman Can Ruin a Good Man's Life” is the headline of a 1997 newspaper article by June Brown, a Detroit journalist. “Many men don't perceive women as dangerous because they are often pretty, accommodating, and exciting to be around. Yet, the danger some pose is greater than most men can imagine.” The article continues: “Men should set certain standards that the women in their lives must meet and men should refuse to associate with women who don't meet those standards. Never should a man look at the abundant supply of women and try to take as many samples as possible, because when physical attraction takes over, common sense goes on vacation, so that one night with the wrong woman can ruin the best of men.”

Think that's an overstatement? Check out my listener Mike's fax:

Why did I marry my honey? I think the following is pretty accurate.

1. I was looking for a better college roomie.2. I was sloshing brim-full of hormones; either over-sexed or under-whoopied and something had to give. Back then you didn't often just shack-up with some willing (dumb) chick to solve such problems.3. She had fun brothers.4. She was willing.5. She had a cute figure.

Now, don't under-estimate #2 above! With that list, failure is a real probability, and so are the following:6. He'll be wrenched from his kids.7. He'll be tossed out of his house.8. Half or more of what he owns will be confiscated.9. He'll be bound in involuntary servitude (through alimony, etc.) to a hostile master.

And, I was! Even so, I think guys should marry, but given the above, I don't think it would be such a disaster if the male hormones weren't so up and the male wisdom/experience so down.

Contrast that marrying approach with another listener's approach:

I never dated anyone or spent much time worrying over girls that I knew I would never marry. Why waste the time or compromise my principles for someone that was not up to snuff! I kept searching till I found the best one, and I was not afraid to say no or be on my own. I married on March 12, 1994. I know that I made the right decision and I have never looked back once or wished that I had made any other decision. She is the best and I burst with pride every time I think of her. She is why I work hard and strive to do my best--so she can be as proud of me as I am of her. She is my friend, my partner, and my lover.

Well, obviously a big difference in attitude and approach--and results. My caller Craig, thirty-two, phoned in about choosing between the two women in his life; ultimately, I believe, choosing between the two very different fates encountered above.

Craig's been dating woman #1 for three months. She wants to take him with her on a cross-country trip without any further commitment.

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